A Guide to Caring for the Kuroshitsuji Characters
by Queen of the Kittens
Summary: Two demons, two earls, and two reapers. What could go wrong?
1. 05 Falling Into a New World

It was a normal day in the Phantomhive Manor...except it wasn't. Bardroy, May-rin, and Finny we're all running around the manor in frantic search of their young master and his tall butler.

"They couldn't have disappeared, no they couldn't," says May-rin, nervous.

"Yeah, you're right, they could've went somewhere without our knowledge!" said Bard trying to make the situation better.

"I'm going to agree with you two, but I can't help but feel like something else is going on," says Finny.

 _ **(Across the dimensional border and into another timeline)**_

"AHHHHHHHHH," Ciel screamed as he and Sebastian tumbled through a weird tunnel.

Just earlier he'd just been doing paperwork when a portal opened right up in front of him. Sebastian had tried to protect him, but only succeeded in getting sucked into the portal along with Ciel. If Ciel could see Sebastian's face he'd know that his demonic butler was enjoying his fear.

All of a sudden, two other screams joined Ciel's and then Alois, Claude, Undertaker, and Grell slammed into the duo. Grell immediately attaches onto Sebastian who looked like he'd just seen a cat die in front of him. Alois did the same to Ciel who, in return, looked as if he'd seen his parents' ghosts. There was no time for words as the six of them slammed into something hard.

Ciel, Grell, and Alois collectively groaned.

"Oh, Bassy, save me from whatever's happening," cried Grell ad he clung tighter onto the raven demon.

"Oh, Ciel, fancy seeing you here!" says Alois as Claude helped him.

Ciel scowled and stood up, dusting his shorts off.

"Master, would you like me to scan the area for any threats?"

"Yes."

Sebastian bowed and ran off to explore with Grell calling out after him. Ciel shook his head as Alois started to annoy him. He shook the blonde off and turned to Undertaker who was holding a strange metal contraption and laughing at his weird reflection.

"Undertaker, do you by chance know where we are?" he asked.

"Ciel! Pay attention to me!" screeched Alois loudly.

"I haven't the slightest clue, but I can assure you we're not in our universe anymore and it's most definitely not 1888," he says with a giggle.

"So, Ciel, do _you_ have an idea of where we might be? If your brain can comprehend the idea of another universe that is," laughs Alois.

"Will you shut-"

"Master, I have found the owner of this building," says Sebastian throwing Grell off of him.

A man, er female? A person, let's go with that, stepped out from behind the supernatural beings who were wrestling of some sort. Immediately, everyone who had just met the person blushed. The person had dirty blonde hair, brown skin, silver eyes, and wore a slightly short orange and gray waist coat with an off white shirt under it, dark gray booty short, leggings, and high heeled thigh-high boots.

Ignoring the struggles of Grell trying to get Sebastian to kiss him, the person bowed.

"It's nice to meet you! I am Alex Brown," they say.

"What _are_ you?" asked Alois bluntly. "I know I look girly, but this is incredible."

With Alois being 5'9 now that he was twenty he towered over the poor person who was probably about 5'3. He gripped them and picked them up.

"Well, technically I have no gender. I'm currently a boy though. And could you put me down-"

Ciel took Alex out of Alois's hands.

"I apologise on behalf of Alois, he's missing quite a few brain cells," he says glaring at the pouting blonde.

Alex blushed and smiled weakly.

"Well, please follow me to the kitchen, there I could perhaps learn more about your predicament."


	2. 1 That Moment When You Burn Food

Alex couldn't help but feel as if he recognized the people he was leading to his kitchen. However, he did know that he hoped they weren't serial killers. The kitchen was kinda like a five star chef's kitchen. Not to brag, but Alex was a pretty good chef. As soon as everyone was settled, he realized that he was surrounded by giants.

He was a meager 5'3 while everyone else seemed to be 5'9 or taller. He shook it off and quickly started cooking.

"Would you like any assistance, Master Brown?"

Alex squealed- I mean he emitted a manly sound of awesomeness as Sebastian and Claude appeared by his sides out of nowhere. Ignoring his pounding heart he answered.

"Uh yes. Could you bring down the spices when I need them since my brother thought it would be funny to make fun of my short stature and put them at the tallest shelves," he grumbled as he pulled out pots and pans aware of the butlers' curious glances.

"Hey, Alex, do you happen to know what year it is?" Asked Grell playing with his hair. "We've no idea where we are."

"Ah, thank you, Claude and Sebastian," says Alex as he was handed the lemon pepper and black (butler) pepper by the tall men. "And to answer your question, welcome to 2019. Mind telling me your names?"

"I'm Ciel Phantomhive."

"I'm the one and only Alois Tracy!"

"Adrian Crevan heheh~"

"The Queen of Reapers, Grell Sutcliff!"

"Sebastian Michaels."

"Claude Faustus."

Alex almost froze in shock. How had he not noticed that Black Butler characters were in his home. He bit his lip and opened his mouth to answer, but his phone interrupted and start vibrating. He answered, motioning for his guests to be quiet. He continued cooking.

 **"Hey! Alex, how's it going!"**

"Curtis, we've talked about this! Stop blowing my eardrums up with your voice," he hisses at his friend.

Curtis laughed.

 **"I hope you realize that we've got somewhere important to be tomorrow."**

"If you're talking about me dragging you into the pits if he'll and watching as your soul is devoured by some hungry demon then yeah, that's important," he grumbled, " 2019 Demonfest should be fun then."

"Demonfest?" He heard Sebastian mumble with a smirk.

Claude looked intrigued as well as the others..

"You don't think the Angels will ruin it again do you? Last time I had to body slam one andthrow two others out of window just to keep them from trying to take me from the Demonfest. I'd already told that I loved it there and I'd maybe see about the Angel counterpart. But _nooo_ they didn't listen," complained Alex as he set the fish in the pan.

 **"Dude, that was hilarious though. I'd never seen you get so angry. Plus they were taller than you!? Geez, are you actually a demon?"**

"I wish because I'd get to devour you soul," laughed Alex, "but I have to hang up. I have guests that'll be staying for a while. Bye."

 **"Bye."**

"What's this fest for demons you're talking about, heheh~?" Undertaker asked for everyone. "You don't seem like the type to love beings of their caliber."

"You amuse me Adri-kun," says Alex, "I'm _not_ a good person."

Alex once again emitted a manly sound of awesomeness as Grell picked him up and crushed him into a hug. He wheezed as Grrlk started hugging him tighter.

"Aw! You're a good person, Ale! Besides what bad person, besides Bassy, is this adorable?!"

"I am _not_ adorable," muttered Sebastian rolling his wine-colored eyes.

Ciel snickered while Undertaker full out laughed. Sebastian glared at Claude who tried to hide his amusement.

"Continue and you shall perish. '

"I'd to see you try, especially with our current situation at hand, _Raven_."

Alois rolled his eyes and snatched Alex away from Grell who'd just about smothered the poor blonde.

"Stop hugging him! He's _my_ cuddle buddy not _yours_!"

Is nobody going to acknowledge the fact the food is burning? Wondered Undertaker and Alex as a verbal fight broke out between the others.

Maybe not. Wait, is that fire? Holy-

"Shit!" Yelped Alex literally launching himself out of Alois's arms.

He quickly controlled the fire trying to keep his house from burning down. But before he could fully put it out, he was pulled away from the stove and Claude took his place. He looked up and seen it was Sebastian who'd grabbed him. He deadpanned and slumped. Would he be able to keep up with them.

"-you okay, Master Brown?"

"Yes, but please do not call me 'Master Brown'."

"Understood."

Someone save him, anyone. Just _please_. And somebody tell Grell to stop sticking his fingers in the fucking toaster before they get burnt- you know what...let em' burn. Maybe it'll teach him something.


	3. 2 Lets Question Humanity

After the whole "Food Burning" epidemic. Alex was ready to play some pranks. He'd already introduced everyone to everything in the house. Everyone had their own bedrooms despite Claude and Sebastian's insisting that they don't need a room and would be fine staying with their masters. But, Alex was having none of it and replied with -

"Get your gentlemanly, "Tall and Dark" asses in your rooms or I'll be forced to use force!"

Neither one of them insisted after that. After getting their rooms settled and finding blankets for a movie night in the living room, Alex forced them out of theit rooms and into the living room. He had two helium balloons and he was gonna have fun.

"Why on Earth are we being dragged out again?! I was _comfortable_!"

"Stop your bitching, Alois. I'm sure Claude's had enough of it and I don't want to hear it. Besides, what I'm planning is gonna be funny. Well, not for the select two people I've chosen," Alex replied, whispering the last sentence though he knew Sebastian and Claude heard. "Now, Sebastian and Claude, breathe in from these balloons and then say "I'm totally that guy who screams 'Heyyyyy'."

"Ooh~ what have you got planned for Bassy and Claudie?" says Grell grinning widely.

"Just wait."

"This is something embarrasing, correct?" - Ciel

"Yep." - Alex

"Record it." - Alois

The demons exchanged looks of "What the hell has this bitch got planned?" before hesitantly doing as Alex instructed as said boy started recording.

 _"I am totally that guy who screams 'Heyyyyy'!" - Claude and Sebastian_

 _"What the hell?" - Sebastian_

 _"What's wrong with my voice?!" - Claude_

Alex, Alois, Grell, and Undertaker bursted into laughter and struggled to breath as the normally composed demons flipped their shit. Soon, even Ciel couldn't hold back his laughs as he too began to laugh.

After the stunt he pulled, Alex made sure to always be near one of the others who _weren't_ Sebastian and Claude. He was currently in between Ciel and Alois. The blonde was attached to him like glue and wasn't planning to let go of him by the looks of it. Though he was fine with it, considering the fact that Sebastian and Claude looked as if they were planning his untimely "accidental" death by kitchen utensils.

Grell suddenly burst into the room holding a _bra_?! Alex started to struggled to get out of Alois's arms as the redhead grinned triumphantly.

"Look at this strange hat I found in Ale-kun's closet! I say, this one is really pretty. A nice,lacy red hat! Can I keep it pretty please?" says Grell placing the bra on his head and flouncing about as Undertaker laughed loudly from somewhere in the house.

"Grell, that's not a hat," says Alex still struggling to get out of Alois's grip, "it's the 21st century equivalent of a corset."

Grell only smiled. "You must show me how to wear this!" he says. Alex deadpanned as Undertaker laughed and shook the entire house. Sebastian only smirked and why is he and Claude bleeding from the nose.

"ALOIS, YOU CLOD! WAKE UP OR ELSE IMMA BURN YOUR BOOTY SHORTS!" shouted Alex.

Alois woke up shrieking which in turn woke up Ciel who smacked the other blue-eyed individual who screamed again. Alex escaped and yanked the bra from Grell who was trying to figure out how to wear it as Alois and Ciel attacked each other on the floor. Undertaker's laughing was gonna make the house fall in at this rate. Claude and Sebastian were probably just amused by how their masters were barely fighting seeing as how they were weak.

Alex was running from Grell who was trying to get him to show him how to wear a bra. Today's a good day to question humanity.


End file.
